I previously have talked about my belief in the notion, that personal happiness and fulfilment are the things that are, more and more, enabled by us. Not other people. Us. We are literally the architects of our lives.
Easy to say and not to do eh? Sometimes, it is possible to feel like a passenger in all of this. But, hang on (!) this is my life. So I choose not to be.
I recently listened to the audio version of ‘NLP at Work’ by Sue Knight. It is a great book. It helped me better understand how we, essentially, codify how we operate and therefore can enable the outcomes we get in our lives on a daily basis - and thus the bigger picture. Most of the time, without even knowing it. The way we think drives how we operate. This then, of course, will normally influence the outcomes we get; good or bad. Without knowing it, it can limit or broaden our horizons in equal measures. Many people never even realise their full potential; because of the way they think about things pre-determines it to be that way. Similarly, some people get everything they ever wanted in life because they make it that way. This is not luck or lack of it.
NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. Very (very) simply it is the science and art of being able to programme and re-programme our brains to operate differently. So that we master excellence in pretty much anything that we focus on.
A key concept in NLP is ‘anchoring’. This is when, through a repeatable constant (the anchor), we can call on an emotional state by linking it to an external or internal trigger. This sets us up to act in a way that makes it much more likely that we’ll achieve what we believe. This can be visual stimuli, sound such as music or a voice, or a physical feeling such as a touch.
I am learning that we all use this idea; every single day in both positive and negative ways. Through things that we have experienced, are experiencing, or think we will experience in the future. The thing is, we don’t even know we’re doing it. Simply put, we are constantly and unconsciously summoning associated emotional states from our life experiences that are linked through triggers of seeing, hearing or feeling something.
However, once we make ourselves conscious of it, we can start to influence it. Seeing the weather (cloudy or sunny), meeting with a specific friend or colleague, reading a passage from a book, hearing a song, or putting on our lucky pants! These can all act as triggers for a desired emotional state.
For many of us there are daily triggers that we experience, which can evoke states and define how we will feel and act in certain situations. These then enable follow on outcomes or indeed consequences. Many things can derive the emotional state we put ourselves in. Note that I say, ‘we put ourselves in’. We choose it from a range of options - most of the time unconsciously.
The emotional state we are in then drives how we act and interact with those around us. How we do this has a huge influence on how we feel, what we do, and the outcomes we achieve; daily and in life more broadly.
So bringing all this back to something meaningful. You can use what you already know to programme yourself to recall and enable positive states; especially when you might look at something, someone or a situation more negatively. Hopefully most of us have states where we feel positive and good, that we can draw on. If our desired state is e.g. one of calm confidence and there are times when we feel like this, we can transfer this state to any scenario. It starts with believing we can change for the better. Through the choices we make about how we feel about something.
Even the insignificant micro-moments can be reframed through re-programming. Once you start doing this you are re-programming your brain with a different narrative. Neuro Linguistic Programming. Look it up.
I hope you enjoy this idea.